no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize