If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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