Where is the hickey?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
