no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
