Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
