shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
