I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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