The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
