do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
