New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
