my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
