I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
