Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
