so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
