highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
