that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
