I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize