your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
