Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
