i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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