she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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