They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
