i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize