i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
id be glad to
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
