he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
