You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
