Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
