A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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