I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
