they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
