Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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