put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think I won the penis lottery.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
