Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
