what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
