he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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