saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize