My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
