Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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