so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I would ride that face into the sunset
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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