so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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