Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
