you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
