she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize