He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The uberlube is also flammable
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
