Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
