Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
