Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize