Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
