There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
