She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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