We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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