yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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