You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize