the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
