How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There's always time for handjobs
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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