I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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