you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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