Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He passed out mid-signature
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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