I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
