Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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