When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
